Mock Natsu Basho!

The NSK may have cancelled the Natsu basho, but never fear—you do not have to wait until July (or later) for some sumo content. Our friends at Grand Sumo Breakdown will be simulating the tournament based on the recently released banzuke. We here at Tachiai will be joining them in covering the mock basho much like we would the real thing. While we can’t bring you actual bouts, we can write previews, highlights, storyline posts, etc. At the end of the tournament, I will even create a projection for a banzuke based on the mock results. In Bruce’s inimitable words, “It will be odd, it could be cheesy, but I think the readership will love it.” While our efforts cannot make up for the absence of real ozumo, we hope that they will scratch the sumo itch at least a little, and bring some much-needed levity to the sumo fandom community.

The mock Natsu basho kicks off in two weeks, on May 24, just like the real thing was slated to before the cancellation. Let us know any thoughts and suggestions you may have in the comments, and stay tuned for more details.

35 thoughts on “Mock Natsu Basho!

  1. Delightfully weird and I love it. I am going to miss my pals on the usual Youtube channel / Abema stream, but this ought to be lots of fun of a different kind.

    • I suppose someone could try to curate video footage from the most recent bout between the two matched up rikishi that had the same outcome as the simulated bout…

      • Does someone have kintamayama on speed dial? Because how great would it be for him to publish faux highlight reels, amirite?

      • Believe it or not, the Usual Youtube Channel found a way, sort of — they’re replaying old matches and letting the chat do its thing. Of course, that meant that last night I got to relive the 2017 Tamawashi-Ura bout that started Ura down the long ugly path to ongoing injury, this time knowing that’s what I was seeing, but…

        • Which channel? I checked my usual lineup and apparently it’s not one of those…am I misremembering Takakeisho hurting Ura?

  2. Will there be injuries,or would that just be too much like tempting fate?
    How about a slippiotoshi spinner?

    • I believe the guys at GSB are planning to have some probability of injuries/kyujo built into the simulations.

      • We discussed some of that today. We shared some ideas, there will be some test matches to see what the results look like.

  3. Will there be COVID-19 tests and infections? like with Chiyomaru in the last basho.

  4. If someone like Kotoyuki dominates the simulation will we know that we should just shut the whole thing down, burn it, and place it six feet under ground to never be seen again?

  5. Also, to add nerdy frosting on the nerdiest of cakes can someone please run a fantasy league off the fantasy basho?!

  6. This is a splendid idea. This month I’ve been following a playlist of Kintamayama videos from a randomly-chosen old basho. I’m enjoying the suspense but it’s just not the same without Bruce’s previews and highlights!

  7. So will it just be rolling a dice for every bout or will they take the rikishi strengths and weaknesses, their rank and the results of previous meetings into account? I guess that takes a lot of work…

    • The GSB guys will take that into account – they’ll take into account if a mosquito lands on Mitakeumi’s Mother’s eyebrow! I may have to join another social media platform for this.

    • I don’t know all the details, but it’ll be a lot more realistic than a coin flip for sure.

  8. Even just trying to do the daily match-ups is more insanity than my brain can handle! I think this will be something pretty awesome – especially if it comes down to a playoff between Hokutofuji & Kaisei ;) I think a Zensho Yusho should see Kaisei go straight in at Komusubi if not back up to Sekiwake ;)

  9. Well, this should be interesting! Looking forward to it!
    I think I’ll also be re-watching the January 2016 Basho when Kotoshogiku (my favorite) won the yusho.

  10. This is such a great idea that I was thinking of doing it myself: making up toriwotchucallit every day and generating the results by looking up the past meetings and rolling a random number, But I’ve been beaten to the punch and this obviously looks like fun. And don’t be bitching about crazy results – remeber who won in January.

  11. There’s a scene in the great movie Sonatine where the guys play a sumo game with paper models of wrestlers. When one of the gangsters introduces an especially tiny model he jokes “It’s Mainoumi”. Maybe that’s the way they should go.

    • There is actual someone on the r/sumo subreddit who is holding a paper sumo basho, complete with written commentary and video of the bouts.

      • **actually*

        Man, I wish there were an edit function. Also, I should know better than to write comments before I’m done with my first cup of coffee.


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