According to a draft report leaked today, the Japan Sumo Association is considering changes to its promotion rules, which have frequently been criticized as too vague and subjective. If the proposed changes move ahead, gone will be the days of speculating about what it might take for a wrestler to be promoted to Ozeki or Yokozuna after the next tournament; instead, the rules will be clearly spelled out.
Specifically, promotion to Ozeki will require 33 wins over 3 basho, all ranked in san’yaku, with double-digit wins in each basho, canonizing what many sumo fans already believe are the promotion criteria into hard-and-fast rules. As a consequence, Wakatakakage’s 9-6 at M1e in January would mean that we could put an end to any speculation about his Ozeki chances in May. Similarly, promotion to Yokozuna will require two consecutive championships at the rank of Ozeki, removing the pesky “yusho equivalent” clause that is the source of constant debate and confusion.
In a proposal likely to be viewed as the most controversial, the criteria would be applied retroactively. Of the current Ozeki, only Takakeisho met the new criteria during his run. Mitakeumi, who recorded only 9 wins in the first basho of his run, would keep his rank, but only by virtue of his 11-4 performance in March, while Shodai would be stripped of his rank. Similarly, the date of Yokozuna Terunofuji’s promotion would be changed from July 2021 to November, when he finally reached two consecutive yusho after becoming Ozeki. Ranks of retired Ozeki and Yokozuna would also be subject to review; for instance, Goeido would have his highest career rank changed to Sekiwake.
Another section of the report addresses banzuke movements below the top two ranks. It proposes that the current system of drawing up the rankings during a meeting of elders should be replaced by a computer algorithm, at long last bringing sumo in line with other major sports. “This is not the early 1900s,” reads the report, “and the rankings at the heart of our sport should not be subjectively decided during a sake-soaked meeting by group of men who spent their careers hitting each other in the head.”
NSK PR director Shibatayama was not available for comment. Reached at his residence in Ramat Gan, Israel, Moti Dichne, better known to sumo fans as Kintamayama, said, “Oh man, I guess this spells the end of Guess The Banzuke. Even if the NSK keeps the algorithm secret, the Sumo Forum nerds will reverse-engineer it in no time. It’s already bad enough when they talk about where someone should be ranked ‘by the numbers’. And to think, we’ve kept the game running for almost 25 years!”
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Retroactively? Yeesh.
I fell for it. Ouch.
took me until Goeido being retroactively reverted to a career high of sekiwake. Well Played!
Me too. And I feel a bit stupid now… Well done.
Feel for it because it actually sounds like something the NHK would do. Feeling to many are being promoted to quickly and maybe some lucked into their ranks ect…
Same here! Poor old Shodai, somehow I believed they would do this to him…
Bravo!
Ah, you had me until the word “retroactively” … :D
Wait – does this mean that Konishiki does or doesn’t get retrospectively promoted to Yokozuna?? ;)
It was believable until the “retroactively”, but this is a great way to stress that the 33-in-3 rule doesn’t really exist. Kudos.
I hear they are going to replace the salt power water with margaritas since they already have salt on hand
LOL. Well done, sir!
In other news, to counter the Mongolian influence popularizing belt sumo, Grand Sumo will be reverting back to fully nude wrestlers.
Excellent Piece for the holiday!
In other sumo news, the JSA has announced that Aoiyama will be required to wear a Bro (or is it a Mansiere???) during his bouts and that the kimarite tittytakikomi is now illegal and grounds for disqualification.
1 april joke?
2 years reading, and enjoying, I was just waiting for the right occasion to say, thank you! I had to read the phrase about “retroactive” a few times before realizing that I have to pay more attention to the calendar….
VERY WELL DONE SIR! HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S TO YOU TOO!
It is the style that betrayeth the author. The first paragraph sounded a bit fishy, and then retroactive demotions. Happy April fool’s, everybody!
See you later for the next round of Guess the Banzuke.